Midlife Crisis: Signs, Causes And Treatments (2023)

“A midlife crisis is a period or phase of life transition when a person begins to question the things that they have accomplished or achieved and whether those same things still provide a sense of fulfillment and meaning,” says Michael G. Wetter, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist practicing in Los Angeles. If not, a person may begin to question what can bring meaning and fulfillment to the later part of their life that may be missing or unexplored, he adds.

This questioning may lead to an abrupt change in occupation, commitment to relationships or hobby exploration, says Dr. Wetter, but it may also include more impulsive behaviors and actions, such as risky spending habits and health concerns.

However, the changing perspective and attention to mortality that occurs during a midlife crisis doesn’t always manifest in negative symptoms and may instead lead to a more concentrated effort and devotion to family or a stronger desire to focus less on work and more on living, says Dr. Wetter.

“While there is no one common sign, more often than not, it represents a shift in perspective relative to one’s self-image and engagement in life,” he adds.

Who Is Affected by a Midlife Crisis?

A midlife crisis may affect an individual in middle adulthood, approximately ages 35 to 65, according to the American Psychological Association. Research indicates that midlife crises may arise as a result of lifestyle changes (such as having children, receiving a promotion at work or retirement), changes in productivity and coming to terms with one’s mortality as they age. For individuals who have children, a midlife crisis may be spurred by children leaving their shared family home as they age—a phenomenon known as “empty nest syndrome”—in which individuals often reassess their priorities or the dynamics of their relationships.

A midlife crisis can be triggered by any number of major factors, including divorce, the death of a loved one, boredom or a significant life event, says Krystal Jackson, a licensed therapist and the CEO of Simply Being Wellness Counseling in Farmington, Connecticut, who helps middle-aged clients navigate life transitions. The shift occurs when a person’s identity and their purpose in life are in direct conflict, usually due to aging, she says.

Midlife can be a time of many changes: You might see an increase or decrease in responsibilities, such as your children becoming more independent or having to care for an aging parent; you may realize your career path is less than satisfactory and regret missing out on pursuing work you consider more meaningful; you may start to realize your physical abilities have declined with age, your relationships are not what fulfill you or that you missed a major goal you wanted to achieve along the line.

The way one person responds to a midlife crisis differs from the next, according to both Jackson and Dr. Wetter. Some people may experience minimal outward signs but have feelings they don’t know what to do with, while others may develop coping strategies that can be damaging to their health, finances or relationships.

Common signs and symptoms of a midlife crisis may include:

• Anxiety
• Abrupt career or lifestyle changes, such as quitting a job or moving homes
• Behavior changes, including becoming antisocial, impulsive or irrational
• Chronic reminiscence and reflection about the past focusing on youthful memories, former lovers, past adventures or having fewer responsibilities during a previous life stage
• Depression or major mood changes
• Dishonor to romantic relationships (avoidance, cheating, marital infidelity, etc.)
• Dramatic changes in appearance, behavior or self-care
• Excessive indecisiveness
• Feelings of anger, boredom, emptiness, irritability, loss of purpose, nostalgia, resentment, sadness or being unfulfilled
• Financial irrationality and excessive spending
• Hypochondria and exaggerated health concerns
• Making major future plans, such as traveling or investments, that may not have previously been possible or responsible due to family, work or financial constraints
• Religious and spiritual transitions, such as diving deeply into a religion, conversion or starting a new practice
• Ruminating over past mistakes and failures
• Sleep pattern disruption
• Weight gain or loss
• Withdrawal from normal routines

The major signs to look for are drastic changes in a person’s outlook or behaviors, according to Jackson. “They may be fixated on their past or romanticize their future. They may take more risks, such as quitting their stable job or buying pricey items,” she says, adding that crises can also result in stress-related difficulties that affect more than just the individual experiencing them, such as mood changes, sleep disturbances or acting out. “The emphasis here is they may feel like their current life no longer makes sense, and they’re trying to find ways to reconnect with themselves.”

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How Do I Know If I’m Experiencing a Midlife Crisis?

Signs that you may be experiencing a midlife crisis include greater feelings of anxiety or depression, feelings of boredom or disinterest toward objects or activities that were once enjoyable, withdrawing from social situations, increased feelings of nostalgia, ruminating over past experiences and spending money excessively or irresponsibly. Other indications that you may be experiencing a midlife crisis may include physical changes, such as fluctuations in weight, sleep disturbances and increased health concerns.

Inner turmoil about reaching middle age could begin with a specific trigger or major life event, or stem from feelings of disconnect or dissatisfaction with reality. Jackson describes divorce, the death of a loved one or a significant unexpected life event as common sources, as well as less instantaneous sources of crisis feelings, such as boredom.

Often, a midlife crisis closely follows the stages of grief, usually beginning with some feelings of denial, which may be followed by anger. The crisis phase may next include constant ruminations about what could be and replaying the past or impulsive and reckless behaviors, the stress of which may result in feelings of depression or withdrawal, according to Jackson. With time and the right support, these feelings can fade into an acceptance and a resolution stage.

How Long Does a Midlife Crisis Last?

The amount of time a person experiences the symptoms of a midlife crisis depends on the frequency of their feelings and how they choose to resolve them.

“Humans thrive on having a routine, and a crisis can easily disrupt this,” says Jackson. She suggests that finding the root of the feelings, working with them to develop a new, healthy routine and reprogram harmful thoughts into a helpful perspective will allow a person to move forward with greater satisfaction as they enter their later years.

Signs A Midlife Crisis Could Be Ending

Research indicates that although happiness levels dip in middle adulthood, feelings of positivity tend to increase as individuals age—a phenomenon known as the U-shaped happiness curve. Signs that a midlife crisis may be coming to an end include increased satisfaction with oneself and greater optimism toward the future.

It’s important to understand the difference between the symptoms that result from a major life transition and a mental health condition.

Clinical depression is defined as a mental health disorder and mood-related condition, whereas a midlife crisis is not, says Jackson. Depression, also known as major depression or major depressive disorder, is characterized by symptoms that include chronic sadness, isolation, withdrawal, suicidal ideation and sleep disturbance. “A person would have to meet the criteria of a depressive episode as outlined by the DSM-V in order to be diagnosed with this issue,” says Jackson.

In some cases, the two conditions may be correlated, but causation is not mutual. The stress from experiencing a midlife crisis can result in mood changes or even a depressive episode, says Jackson. Conversely, “a depressive episode is not indicative of a midlife crisis. Depression can be experienced at any age and doesn’t have to be a response to a stressor,” she says.

Not everyone who experiences a midlife crisis will feel depressed, according to Dr. Wetter. However, “those experiencing a midlife crisis might make decisions or engage in actions that can trigger depression. It’s often when these types of consequences occur that someone will then seek out help—not because of the midlife crisis, but because of the consequences of an action or behavior that stemmed from the phase of life transition,” he says.

There are many options available to help individuals cope with the symptoms of a midlife crisis. Some avenues for finding relief include increasing physical activity, talking with others and changing how we think about aging.

Get more exercise. Increasing your level of physical activity may bring a natural boost to your mood, while also making you feel more in control of your health.

Share your feelings with others. Feelings of shame and isolation are common symptoms of a midlife crisis, and may make it difficult to reach out to others for support. However, speaking with a friend or a mental health care provider may help to alleviate symptoms and provide relief.

Change your thinking. It may offer comfort to know that a downturn in happiness during middle age is a relatively common experience. Rather than ruminating on the past or dreading the future, aim to shift your view of getting older as rife with possibilities, such as more time to commit to hobbies or traveling.

Since a midlife crisis is not classified as a medical condition, there is no singular cure or course of treatment. However, there are many options for those seeking help. To mitigate the effects of mood, behaviors or physical ailments related to midlife crisis symptoms and to reframe harmful thoughts into a healthier mindset and routine, experts, including Jackson and Dr. Wetter, often recommend seeking therapy, whether in-person or online, with a licensed mental health professional.

Rather than a condition to treat, “a midlife crisis is something to be processed, contemplated and explored,” says Dr. Wetter. “Therapy can also help minimize the chances of acting impulsively to the point of causing unintended negative consequences.”

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Help can come in many forms and is essential to navigating a crisis and moving through major life transitions, such as those experienced in midlife.

While family members or friends can be a great support during this time, a clinical psychologist or highly skilled therapist might be the most beneficial resource, according to Dr. Wetter. “Psychotherapy is a perfect modality and intervention for those moving through a midlife transition or crisis,” he says, as it is an intensely personal approach that provides a protected and private space in which a person can explore inner conflict, thoughts and perceptions of relationships without fear of judgment or negative assumption.

Jackson recommends cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps challenge unhelpful thoughts and gives people the opportunity to better understand their beliefs and values. “A major key here is to reset the mindset,” explains Jackson. “Because much of a midlife crisis is a disconnect between a person’s self-worth and their life outlook, it can be helpful to reframe the midlife crisis as an opportunity to reset or reestablish their vision for their life.” She also notes that If there have been mood or physical ailments due to the crisis, medication (from a qualified health professional) and nutrition improvements can be helpful in addressing those symptoms.

Additionally, therapy can allow a person to see that there’s room for positive growth during midlife transitions and can help resolve the crisis more efficiently. “It can help illuminate new possibilities and opportunities to engage in life, enhancing relationships and ending formerly destructive behaviors and patterns,” says Dr. Wetter.

Helping a person reestablish a routine that supports wellness is very beneficial to quality of life in later years, too, and the root of this work is to identify the source of a midlife crisis, according to Jackson. “It’s important to acknowledge how this life change has affected [a person] and take steps towards healing.”